Never Repeat Chapters, The Ending Stays The Same
by 4ForYouGlenCoco
Summary: Common sense is the one of the senses that are used the least in humans today. When your in a place that you don't want to be, why do you choose to stay ? Simple enough, your heart out wins your mind time and time again.
1. Chapter 1

***rubs back of my neck* Oh Hi there, this is my first fan fiction, so um yeah be nice.**

**My Beta is my best friend, but were young and we make mistakes. SO if something is off or whatever point it out in a review.**

**Seriously, make sure you review. Everyone counts, so hit that button….if you don't I'll know.**

**Disclaimer - I own absolutely nothing ! I just decided to let my imagination run free with Characters Ms. Meyer created. **

It's like a churning in your head, a grasp in your heart, a mantra in your head.

It's your fault, it's your fault. It's all Bella's fault. The table wasn't set, it's Bella's fault, the water wasn't cold enough it's Bella fault. The light didn't turn green fast enough so he could get home it's Bella's fault.

Our relationship is hard to understand you see, we got married on a surprisingly warm day for the dreary weather that Forks always gives us. It's like opening the Christmas gift that you got from Santa and realizing that he ate all the cookies he left behind and drank the warm milk that you tried so hard to keep warm for him to come through to drink. I never was a selfish child I understood that Santa had other places to go. But I would wait, and wait until I fell asleep. I would wake up the next morning and see that gift. The feeling of your heart no longer being in your chest. That's the feeling I got when I said those 'I do's' to the man that once loved me. He would look at me with the kind of love that a wife and husband should have.

One day that all changed, I forgot to wipe the mirrors in the bathroom. I was a housewife of course so him telling me to stay at home to tend for the house wasn't really a problem with me at all at first. He would tell me, "The world is a cruel, cruel place and people shouldn't be blessed with a person like you." Flattering gets you everywhere with me. I tended to the house that's what I did. It's normal when you stay at home and have nothing to do. You clean, I'm telling you boredom would get you to do almost anything. I remember it like it was yesterday, he came home we kissed, shared our sentiments on how much we loved each other normal husband and wife things. He went to the bathroom to freshen up so he could eat the dinner that I knew had to be prepared already.

"BELLA!" I damn near dropped the plate I had in my hand. I got goose bumps all around, he never raised his voice.

"I'll be right there. I need to put the plates on the table." It made sense right, I was half way to the table and the plates needed to be put on top of the table. But I don't think Jacob saw the sense in that. He came storming in the kitchen not even two seconds later, I didn't even have time to fully turn around. 'SMACK' even been hit so hard and your positive that your Mom felt it. Well Renne's check must have been stinging.

"Didn't I call you ? When I call you, you listen to me. Don't even think about not answering because I'll hear you. Do you understand me ?"

Wait what ? I couldn't even process half of what he just said to me. I still had ringing in my ears. Did he just hit me ? He just hit me ! Why aren't I reacting. I finally open my eyes and look at Jacob. Then I realize why not, ever seen a lion stalking its prey. That's the kind of hunger he had in his eyes. The bad kind, the horrible kind.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I'm so sorry." He must have been right ? He had to be this wasn't him this wasn't like him at all. It made absolutely no sense. I'm making absolutely no sense. Once a man hits you it's over. But looking at his eyes I saw the guilt and the remorse. "This would have never happened, if it was cleaned correctly."

What was he talking about ? He must have saw the confusion I had in my eyes. "The mirror he says. I come back from work, you stay at home it makes sense for things to be in order correct?" He's right. It's my fault, all my fault.

"You know I'm tired from all the work I had to do at work, everything is becoming so stressful. I come home to unwind from everything and seeing something out of place just gets to me." He's moving closer, I can't help but move back. I still feel the stinging.

He notices, I see the anger flash in his eyes. _'MOVE FORWARD' _my heart screams _'GET AWAY' _my mind says. A fool in love I was, a fool in love is what I shall be, because remember it's my fault. So I moved forward to him, to my slow demise.

Common sense is one of the senses that is used the least in humans. When your in a place that you don't want to be in you leave ? Some people choose to stay. I had no where else to go he was my everything and I was his.


	2. Chapter 2

**OH look I'm back again. Doing a Disclaimer is soooo annoying when we all know I'm just a fan who wish she wrote all the books but didn't so bear with me :P I'll do it sometimes but not all the times. Plus I'm hoping your reading this to hear my story, not to see that I'm just a poor, poor girl who divulges in her imagination a little to much. ON WITH THE STORY !**

Chapter 2

I've been subjected to forms of abuse that has made me ensure my survival by making myself as silent and invisible as possible. Right, I say it like I'm about to write a novel on how to know if He's Going to Hit You !.

God, why do I feel so pathetic. Everything in my life has become a routine. I wake up, at 6:50 the same time he wakes up to get ready for work. I always have to make sure he has his breakfast. The fastest way to a guys heart is through their stomach is their heart many people say. The fastest way to get hit is if he has no food. He doesn't like his food touching. I learned this the hard way. I'm learning everything about him the hard way now. It still amazes me how fast he can reach out and slap me like I stole his soul and when he's done it's almost like he hasn't hit me at all. Like I'm the reason I got hit in the first place. Like I'm the one that compelled him for his hand to reach out and slap the dog mess out of me.

When he leaves for work it's a quarter to 8. I clean, and clean. Make sure everything is absolutely spotless. It has to be, or of course bad things happen. I don't even dare turn on the T.V. When he gets back he likes to make sure that his favorite show is on. Law & Order. Funny right ? How someone can see the injustice that goes on with others but feels as if it's right just because it isn't "reality' but what really is reality ?

If your watching a man get beaten up to get him to explain why his wife has those bruises on her face, why she looks to almost be on her death bed. Just to find out that he yes indeed he was beating her , then to see him to go on trial. Him have the nerve to plea, Not Guilty. The Jurors find him Guilty. Then hear the judge give the man the sentence. What's scarier ? To see the person the very person who does the same thing to you watch a show recreate what's happening and not change or to hear him mutter the words _"If he had a better hold she never would have seen the day of light." _Ring ding, ding I got your answer. I know mines already.

Once the clock hits 6 he's going to be back and I have to have the dinner done by then. I look in the fridge to see if everything is in place. He notices everything it seems and it still amazes me if he notices I didn't put the milk in the right place or if I didn't put the beer in rows instead of single file.

I do absolutely nothing but wait once the clock hits 5:58 and wait to hear his car pull in up in the driveway. Once it does, I hear the door knob turning. It's like a ritual, I would know he's upset with anything that he sees once it's 6:05. He always does a run through in the house to make sure everything is in order. That everything is in place, that nothings my fault, I pray and pray for these deathly five minutes to go by and for him to not say anything to me. I look at the time, just one more minute, one more minute. The minute goes by and he comes to me and says nothing. I inwardly jump for glee.

"We need to go shopping." I almost jump for joy when he says that.

He never lets me go out. But on rare occasions he lets me go with him to the local market. I remember one day when I went with him I saw the most god like being to ever grace this Earth, I know I know. I'm a married women, I shouldn't be focusing on other men. But God help me, every time I saw him it almost made me whimper and rub my legs together to get some friction. Now let me explain to who I speak of. I don't know his name but I know his face, boy do I know his face. He's a blonde haired dimple having Texan accent tall hunk of a man. I know he's from Texas because I got to hear his voice one day. One very lucky day when we bumped into each other and he apologized to me. We were in the produce aisle and next thing I know I'm walking into a wall. Just to look up and catch my breath, at first the alarms in my head was ringing, _'What if Jacob sees, I hope he's not looking please don't be looking.' _I look back quickly to see him looking at the brunette haired lady just a short distance from him. '_Figures_'

"Are you okay?" The man asks. I stare at him for a beat to long.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine" I answer very flustered.

Then, I saw the becoming of Jesus when I saw that dimpled smile of his. I turn away quickly so Jacob wont see me talking to him longer than necessary. That night I dreamt of him. So now on the occasions that Jacob lets me go out, I hope and pray I see the man of my dreams. A women can dream right ?

**And there we have it :D**

**Until next time. PLEASE review I got alerts but a review would be lovely also. **


	3. Chapter 3

**School has been kicking my butt. If I won the lotto right this minute I would drop out so quick. **

**But I wanted to take time off of school work and update since I loved the amount of alerts I got last time. Please review !**

**P.S I am my own beta, so sorry for any mistakes. but if you see one tell me in a review !**

He's moaning, and grunting. "Bella…..god…Jesus Christ."

Sometimes I imagine I'm not even there. Just to make everything go by quicker. I can't take it. I can't face reality, because even if we are married he's rapping me.

"God, baby I'm so close…fuck..fuck."

Please hurry. Please, please, please hurry. When he's on top of me like this, I just know I have a role to play. I remember the last time that I didn't play it. The role of someone who actually likes what he's doing to me. I don't fight back I remember the last time I thought it was okay for me to do so. He beat me so bad afterwards. Now I just lay there and take it. It's almost time.

"Yes, Jake….right there…please"

Can't he tell I'm not enjoying this. That I'm not even in the same room as him as this is happening. No, because everything has become about him. My happy place is where me and the blonde haired man from the supermarket comes in and sweeps me off my feet and doesn't hit me at all. He loves me for who I am, and cherishes me. But it's all in my head and plays out when my husband is on top of me. Does that make it wrong ? Does that make me wrong ? God when is he going to be done ?

"You feel amazing. God baby you feel so good. I'm cumming….fuck..I'm cumming."

I do a little moan just for the added effect. I haven't felt nothing this whole time. Please just get off of me I pray in head. It's almost as if he read my mind, a talent that rarely comes out and he gets off of me. He rolls over to lay down. I move to get up off the bed and head to the shower. I hear movement behind me, on the bed. Please, go to sleep half of the time he does and I'm hoping its one of those times. It is, because I hear snoring soon after. I almost run to the shower, I want to rub every essence of his off of me.

He always uses a condom, doesn't want me to have a baby he says It'll ruin my body. But as I stare at the bathroom mirror and I take a look at myself I see a broken girl with lifeless hair, and these sad eyes. These sad, sad eyes.

But a glimmer of something passes through my eyes. Oh yeah , Jake and I had went to the super market yesterday. I have to tell you about this. So let's go to my happy place, something that didn't play out in my mind.

"Go in yourself and get everything that we need." My god, he was giving me a chance to go in by myself. That close to never happens. I almost jump out of the car, but I remember that I have a role to play, so I look at him and say nonchalantly "Okay" Like I don't have a care in the world. When really I'm jumping for joy on the inside.

I grad a shopping cart, because I know I can't carry the things in a basket. My side is still ugly and yellowish looking for when he kicked me the last time. With the cart I head into the store.

If there is a God, he was shedding his light unto me. Because not so far of a distant I see the man that holds a place in my heart. I discreetly move closer to him, he has his back facing to me. I play so when he turns I;m in his direct eyesight. No less than a minute later, he turns. He gives me a dimpled smile. I almost let Jesus take me.

"Hey !" He says. "I remember you."

And then my life is complete, he remembers me ? What am I suppose to say ?

"Oh….Hi." Well don't I sound stupid, my face turns red hot with embarrassment. A habit I never got over.

"How are you ?"

"I'm fine, and yourself ?" it's like I actually know how to speak up. I don't have any friends anymore so it's a shock to me that I'm actually replying without stuttering so hard.

"I'm hanging in there. I can't apologize enough about last time. It seemed like I bumped into you hard." Oh so he did notice that cringe I had almost immediately after the bump.

"Oh, no it's fine. Its fine, there's no reason to apologize." I can feel my feet moving towards him. What am I doing, what am I doing ? "I'm Bella"

Wait, why did I just say that ?

"I'm Jasper." The name seems to roll off his tongue, a name I can get used to.

But all good things must come to an end.

"Bella" That simple name I hear behind me and I almost piss in my pants. I know that voice from anywhere, I hear it everyday. I know I'm in for trouble, a harsh beating for when I get home

"What are you doing.?" He say's his tone still hard and laced with evil.

"N….no..nothing." I say. I'm making it seem like I did something the way my face turns red hot.

"Let's go. Now !" Jake whispers to me, and grabs my arm a little to roughly for public eyes. I'm so embarrassed, as my eyes meet Jasper's. "I'm sorry" I mouth to him. What am I sorry for ? I have no idea, because I know I'm in for it once I get homes.

**Until Next time !**


	4. Chapter 4

**I got suspended at work -_- and I have no school this week so why not write ! ****J**

**Onwards with the story !**

Were home now, and I'm looking at the house through the car window, the place that I hate so much is staring right at me and I hate it so much. It's like a prison, a prison meant for me. I hear Jake open the garage, hearing the metal creak up is like having a jail cell open.

Having the car back up with his had firmly pressed on mine, is like having the prison guard hold you a little to roughly.

Having the car back up is like the prison guard leading you to the jail cell. Him parking the car, your there for life.

Sometimes Jake speed still amazes me up to this date, how at one minute he's holding on to my head oh so tightly. But now that the garage door is closed he runs to the other side, opens the door and has a fistful of my hair, he yanks so hard so I'm halfway out the door by the first yank and completely out half way through the second one. He pulls me up close to his mouth, so it's ear to mouth.

"You had eyes on another guy you little slut." He whispers it, doesn't even scream but it's all the same in my head.

"I'll show you" He's repeating this over and over to me, like some sort of mantra that he has. But he's not screaming, but it has the same effect on me, it's all to scary.

He's dragging me to his room, I call it his because we do not share anything, I learned this very well. He still has a fistful of my hair. We pass by a surface and I see the reflection of myself of us, as he has my hair in a fist wrapped around his fist. I see it all , I see the broken girl that I am. I still haven't healed from the last time. _'Please' _I beg in my head , _'Not again'. _Of course my pleas aren't answered.

We get in front of his room and he throws the door open and flings me to the bed like I'm the lightest thing ever. Then he's on top of me. The first hit always hurts the most, no matter what it is. I guess because it's always the shock of things, the shock that he still beats me.

The first hit is immediately followed by the next, a punch.

"You thought you could look at someone without my permission ? Huh ?" He's grunting this at me.

There's never a correct answer to this.

"N…no..No!"

He's stopped hitting me now and is shaking me, shaking me with all his might. It's impossibly scary to me because I feel like my brain is moving in my head. He's yelling at me and spit is flying out his mouth. He looks like a rapid dog, I don't even know whats going on. I'm slipping out of the conscious world, _'finally'_ . Everything is getting put in slow motion and I can't hear what he's saying. I'm looking at him scream and scream but I can't hear him. _'Thank you' _I repeat in my mind.

Until finally everything is black.

**Okay so I don't know about this chapter, it's like 3 in the morning and I'm still upset about the whole job situation, but life goes on . **


	5. Chapter 5

**IM VERY VERY LATE. D: all I do is work, work , work. BUT I had time to do this. Don;t mind all the spelling mistakes I was in a rush to get this to you guys**

After you wake up it's like seeing the light for the first time. Usually when I wake up everything is not as calm as can be. Because he doesn't give me the chance to get my consicousness, I wake up because he's in me. Can you believe it ? Ogre of a man doesn;t even wait for me to wake up and then proceed to rape me but does it while I'm asleep.

A few more thrusts..

...

He's done, 'GET OFF OF ME' is what I scream in my head. And like a blessing in disguise he does just that. I wait till I hear the snores to get up and do a mirror check. I have no idea why I do these things with myself when I know I'm going to hate the result. I tiptoe to the bathroom, years of getting beaten and sneaking away from a man who you hate the most makes you as quiet as a mouse pissing on a cotton ball. That's how the saying goes ? Well that's how I remember it. Seeing myself in that mirror makes me hate myself even more so. It's annoying how one can do the same thing over and over and still come backfor more. I know the bruises from last time are still there. Have you evesr een Willy Wonka and they had those little midget oompa loomaps ? How they were orange? I look just like that but yellow and purple.

I can't help but think of Jasper, he's the most beautifules thing I have ever laid my eyes on and I can't wait to see him again. Which happens sooner than I think.

Jake needs some shit like eractile enlargement, all those steroids he toopk as a kid got to him, well thats what I tell myself everytime I'm in the dietry supplement aisle lookking at the things he needs for his work out plan. I'm in the middle of picking up something from there when I hear the voice of the Gods it seems.

"Bella?"

I damn near the dropped the pill bottle I had in my hand. God his voice.

"Jasper" I whimper his name like I'm starring in a porn film. Whats wrong with me, I turn slowly so he doesn;t notice anything thats wrong with me.

"Hey" he says, he's looking straight at ne like he's looking into my soul.

"Um..hi" I say back, I'm sure my face is red as a tomato.

But then the unthinkable happens and a little Tinkerbell comes running up to him and links arms with him, of course he's taken. I can't help htat my mind is screaming "EVACUATE' what is not yours is not yours right. What is a nacho ?...a man that is not yours ! I know corny right. I take a step back because the last thing I need is for Jake to see me parlaying with people. Jasper's distracted smiling that dimple smile that he gives me. I'm sure by the time he finally acknowledges me I'm gone. Like a rat pissing on a cotton ball right ?


	6. Chapter 6

**Omg, I haven't written anything in so long it seems. Whelp here I am again. I just graduated out of High School and is in the transition of being a College student so pardon me :D**

**Onwards with the story.**

I wonder if there is a god. When I was little I used to go to church all the time, but as I looked around and noticed all those "Christians" around me. I couldn't help but think they were so funny. Getting touched by this Holy Spirit, and then speaking in tongues to a God that they see. Looking around the Church and seeing the pastor eye you was the worst also. His fat cheeks, pink and sweat dripping down his face. Him licking his lips and realizing that the only thing that'll quench his hunger is a child. I now when every time Jae lays his hand across my face I pray to this God to stop it midstride, him having a sudden heart attack and me chocking to death. But that never happens and when the slap hits my face it always hurts like no other.

When I had seen jasper in the supermarket with that girl and realized that he was taken I knew that God wasn't answering my prayers at all. Things couldn't get any worse. I apparently spoke to soon.

**JPOV**

"What's in your head" Alice asked me from the passenger seat. I almost jumped out of the car. Gathering my bearings I looked around and saw I was in the car with Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Edward. I think someone is talking to me, oh yeah Alice. I almost didn't hear her because my head seems to be in the clouds like it has been always these past few days. Alice had gotten this smile on her face. I internally groaned.

"Don't make that noise!" She screeched near my ear. Apparently I made the noise out loud to.

"HE'S THINKING OF HIS GIRLFRIEND" Emmett boomed from the back seat.

'_God help me'_ "Well pardon me for actually having enough brain cells to construct a grammatically correct sentence. " I said

Why is it the whole gang in my car following me to the supermarket?

Oh yeah Bella, I sighed. I knew I should have never opened my mouth to Alice she can't even keep a secret for more than three hours. Given the fact she wouldn't stop asking me about her after the time she last time she saw Bella.

"Nope" Let my mouth do that annoying popping sound as we pulled up to the supermarket.

"I don't even now why all you guys came."

"To see your new girlfriend of course" Rosalie says to me.

"You better not scare her off." I said back to my overbearing twin, sometimes she can be to much.

"I won't I won't I promise" She says back.

I roll my eyes and walk to the revolving doors, the gang behind me already making all types of noises. I hope that she's here, with every fiber of my being.

I turn around one aisle and there she is, standing there with a big ogre of a man. I can't help but feel the hot jealousy that wrecks through my body. I hear the gang all around me.

"Well I guess that answers that." I hear Alice mutters under her breathe

I see her turn around and our eyes meet. I throw her a dimpled grin and call out her name. But as soon as I see it , I see the horror in her eyes like I just committed the utmost crime. The man next to her stiffens and turns around so quick and we lock gazes, there's nothing but white hot anger in his eyes . He quickly spins around and grabs Bella with so much force I see that she looks like shes about to collapse He whispers something in her ear and then turns around to look at mear with the most fear I've ever saw. A shiver goes down my spine. He shakes her a little and is out of the store before I can do anything.

"Did you see that?" Alice whispers to me.

Dread takes over me.

**Well there you have it, pardon all the misspellings and whatnot I wanted to get this to you guys.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I've suddenly been struck with inspiration to write.**

**I know I know ! It's been forever and a day. But my life has been hectic. One thing you guys don't know is that I visit Africa once a year and a little after my last update I left to Africa for three weeks. I had to quit my job because they didn't approve of the vacation length and from then on the thing I call my life got worse. But onwards !**

**I don't own a darn thing**

JPOV

There's a loud buzzing in my hear and I can't hear anything, everything is going in slow motion. Like in those corny action movies when something surprising happens or when someone seems to be a horribly depressing moment and commence their woe is me routine.

"Jasper….Jasper…..Jasper." I finally focus on Alice

"Are you okay?" She says

'_I don't even know myself' _I say in my head but for her sake and the others I just nod my head.

"Yes" seems to be my reply. But by the looks on their faces I know their not convinced in the least. I have to do something is what my mind is screaming at me but my feet seems glued to the floor and I cant move not one inch. I felt this strong sense of protectiveness over her. Someone I had to protect from the evil that is this world. My damsel in distress.

"Lets go" My feet are moving before I even finish that statement. Alice is quickly right at the back at my feet.

"Where do you think your going" Did I mention for a little thing she's a strong thing. I say this because she practically rips my arm off when she grabs on to my elbow.

"To the car." I don't even know myself is what I think in my head. I rip my arm from her. I then proceed to march out the supermarket like a man on a mission. _'like your going to do anything' _the voice in my head mocks me. I damn near rip the car door off it's hinges. I'm probably thinking irrationally , I pray to god I am because if I'm not that so called man will end up in a hospital and I will be sentenced to life. The kind of destruction I will put on that man will end up on all kinds of newspapers for his gruesome death. _'Please for my sake let her be okay. Just until I can get her away from him.' _

BPOV

Sometimes I just feeling like just letting everything go. But then its for the simple fear that I'm not successful I will have to deal with the wrath that will be dealt with me and I will be dead. But not on my terms, his. That's not the way I want to go out. Not at all. It seems to me that luck was on my side for this once. I don't depend on that thing, the thing named Luck. Crazy right because its few and far in between that this person Luck plays a hand in my life. But today is a day that he decided to appear after what seemed like months. Because as soon as Jake dragged me out to the car and pushed me into the car so harsh and unexpectedly that I bumped my head trying to get in without causing harm. That in the end I did get hurt. Seems to happen a lot with him. He got a phone call. A phone call I'm pretty sure from a lady friend that he has been sleeping with. Someone he still smells like when he comes home to lay with me. Can you believe that. I know its his bed partner because that frown turned upside down so quick I almost got whiplash when he sat down in the car.

'_Please just drop me home' _I say in my head and he responds with what I was craving for.

"Stupid bitch, you lucky I have things to do and people to see." He says. I roll my eyes in my head of course !

"I'm dropping you home and dinner better be ready before I get back."

I just nod my head in response. I know he hasn't deemed me worthy to say anything.

**Dadadadadadadadadadada**

**I should be updating now more often since I have a lot of time on my hands. Oh did I mention I got a job at Radio City Music Hall ? Most awesome experience ever. Oh if your wondering if I got to see the Rockettes perform, why of course I did ! **

**Till next time ! Drop a review you guys ! I love hearing your feedback.**


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